The loss that left a hole in our hearts

Sweet sweet Ramsey
We miss you like crazy.
Sometimes life isn't fair.


Ramsey had started slowing down a little and she had been throwing up occasionally. We didn't think all that much of it, but were a little concerned. At one point we thought maybe she had heartworm so Nick took her to the vet on Saturday for her shots and a heartworm test. She didn't have heartworm so we thought that was good. We were out of the house for most of the day on Sunday and then had the Phillips over for dinner. She really wasn't herself. She was laid out under the table and as the night went on she became more and more unresponsive. Nick finally took her to the emergency vet and they confirmed the unthinkable. Ramsey was in serious trouble. We could have spent thousands of dollars to run tests and give her a blood transfusion but we declined. We made the extremely agonizing decision to put her to sleep. When they brought her in for her last visit she actually wagged her tail to see us but that was it. After that initial tail wag she was not responding to our affection. We knew she was telling us to let go. It was one of the hardest things we'd ever done and I am crying now writing about it. They took good care of us at the vet and actually called back a few minutes later to let us know that they found a ruptured tumor in her abdomen. We went back and replayed that night so many times in our heads but ultimately the decision I came to was that I feel fortunate that it happened the way it did. I wouldn't have wanted to know any sooner that she had cancer and was going to die soon. I wouldn't have wanted to make the decision with a healthier Ramsey whether or not to try to treat her. We've told ourselves over and over that we won't spend a whole lot of money on an older dog's life, but it sure would have been really hard to make that decision before she was physically on her death bed. I wouldn't have wanted to go to bed each night wondering if she would wake up the next day. I am glad that Nick took her to the vet the day before because she got one last ride in a car where she got to hang out the window. The pleasures of being a dog...

While she's always been sweet, she did have her quirks when we first got her. But over time she really turned into the best dog we could ever have hoped for. She was so incredibly loyal and never let us out of her sight. We could let her out in the front yard and she wouldn't run off. She put up with whatever the girls doled out without ever getting upset. She would always come when called and aimed to please. The girls were sad the night that we told them (they didn't realize she was sick the night that she died) but the next day was Isabella's birthday so I think it helped a little...actually I think they probably would have been ok anyway. We, however, are still grieving that sweet little Ramsey shadow.

Damn, love hurts.